He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
