how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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