i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
