Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
