Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
