omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
