I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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