Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
