yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
