yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
