i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
