I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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