Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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