he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
