I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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