I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
