every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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