i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
