i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
