is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
