My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
well you can't waste a boner
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
