Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
