Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
