he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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