Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
