dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
