if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
