I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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