she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
