I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
