im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
