Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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(714): View more from California

Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

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(905): View more from Ontario

And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.

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(207): View more from Maine

I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk

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(928): View more from Arizona

I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning

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