it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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