i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
