I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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