I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Holy sore nipples Batman
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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