I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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