is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
