ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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