end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
