I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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