we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
