U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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