if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I touched a dick in church today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
