If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
