this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
