Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
