I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
