I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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