Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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