The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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