would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize