so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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