I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
