David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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