You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
