he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
