should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
