There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
