I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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