Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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