We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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