I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
