Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
