Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
