my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
