this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
