your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
