I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh god it's open bar.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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